the juggle

I haven't posted since August.   I have thought about this little blog so many times over the last couple of months.   Thinking when LL started school how sweet that day was and how I should chronicle it.  Or when Little L started walking, how cute the videos were and how I should provide an update.   But as quickly as I would think about this blog, I felt overwhelmed by the next thing on the list.   I have been getting wonderful opportunities sent to me which would never have reached me if not for this tiny spec on the internet.   Some opportunities fit our life perfectly and others don't, but I want to talk about it all.   I want to share everything we are given and how special those moments are.   But sometimes its just too much to juggle.

I started back to work part-time in September.   After acting like a brat, bumming around, asking for prayers for a better attitude, but never really allowing myself to feel grateful for the provision of the perfectly presented opportunity, I finally just snapped out of it.   I just recently really started believing the praise I was throwing out on the table about "I know this job is such a blessing, I was given exactly what I asked for, I still have such flexibility, etc..."    I am very thankful for the opportunity.  I just hate to juggle.   I like everything in order, time to do it all, without pressure or stress.   And when life isn't wrapped up in a bow, I worry.   My biggest sin is worry.   Maybe I have written about my worry before, maybe not.   But I worry and after I worry, I stress, and get testy, and sometimes even shot down.   Then I cannot seem to juggle the simplest of tasks.

As for now, I think I am going to add the blog back into the air.   Just like another ball to juggle.   Not because I have too, just because I want too!

image source: layne tanner on pinterest