simply nesting kitchen update

ya know what? I posted last month about what inspired me when we were gutting our kitchen. but I never followed up about what we actually did.

we went with granite counter tops and beautiful white cabinets. the cabinets have a beaded board style and our floors are ceramic tile. I, so, wanted slate, but we were already way over budget by the time we got down to the floor. Our appliances are stainless steel and I must say I LOVE our frig! Its an LG with the freezer on the bottom, but I just adore having the french doors to the refrig and everything is so easily accessible.

we did go with white shelves, which I had to have b/c martha has them. but like I said before shelving = dust and I will NOT do it again.

I am so glad we remodel our kitchen. you'll see from the "before" pictures it was dark and gloomy. now its bright, airy and completely updated!





before...




we gutted this kitchen to the exterior brick and wood beams over head! we put a real ceiling over head with recessed lighting and ceiling fan. With taking out the soffit, we could put in taller cabinets which is a plus for added storage in a small space. and to completely open the room, we took out that island slab of laminate which created a smoother path from the stove to sink to the frig. the perfect triangle, which apparently (I learned during designing the space) is very important !

please, please SPRING arrive already!

I am so ready for spring! I have a tv head for a son, who continues to get sick because of the wicked winter weather and pesty germs!!! plus, I am itching for spring fashions and, of course, to wear my adorable navy shoes :)

I have seen a lot of posts lately on chic spring fashions and have to admit I spent this past weekend thumbing through all the spring catalogs that arrived. I mean what else was I to do? I could not smother double l with kisses, every attempt to actually clean, play or just get up -- hurt and I would have a coughing fit. ENOUGH of reliving the 'sickness' and back to those adorable 'finds' in the catalog.

so, all over the house, I am finding dog-eared catalogs.

here is a sneak peek on what I find FAB!

I am not a big peasant blouse fan, although I love the seinfeld 'puffy shirt' episode and this top from anthropologie



and yes, I will be saying "please bub use your discount card and buy me this dress". it is adorable and also from anthropologie!



moving right along to the next catalog -- boden

my big butt loves the fact tunics are so "in" and this tunic would be perfect over top a pair of leggings or skinny jeans (jeans that I will NOT be wearing EVER)


isn't the artisan coat so pretty? I could see myself darting here and there with my guys all around town.


and I am going to need this sweater to wear with my shoes. thoughts?


and there is jcrew, who I must say, I am falling in love with again. for awhile, I wasn't so impressed with their spring and summer stuff, but the spring catalog has some cute stuff!!!!

I dog-eared way too many things to list, but I will just name a few favorites...

rosette tee

silk contrast tunic

wendy skirt

ribbon necklace

meanwhile, I totally mentioned to my bub to tell any family member (that asks) I would love jcrew gift cards for my birthday. because clearly I would not be purchasing all these pieces, but I so want too...

wordless wednesday

close-up with double l




I just love those red curls...

breathing clear, but turning into a tv junky...

minus an annoying cough, I am feeling 110% better! thank you for all your kind words.

and the beautiful roses my mom gave me are still smelling lovely!

as for double l, he is doing so much better too. I think we will be able to reduce his treatments to three times a day by the end of the week. oh and he is chatting up a storm! however, his favorite words lately are "show, mama" and "trains, pooh, elmo". oh no, how far have I have come from when he was an infant and I said proudly NO TV for this one until 2!!! then he got rsv at 6 months and the only way he sat still for his nebulizer treatments would be if baby einstein was on. he got much better, no tv, ah then winter hit and round the clock treatments and mommie giving into extra episodes and now I have a tv head! dead seriously -- this morning, I picked double l up (from out of his crib), he gave me a hug and kiss (ah, I could eat him up) and then he proceeded to say "show". he knows he gets a treatment first thing in the morning! okay, what do we do? he loves puzzles, so we distract him with puzzles. he loves coloring, so that's another distraction. and by no means is he sitting in front of the tv, but he always asked for it... I want him to get "shows" off the brain.

I need SPRING! we need to go play outside.

what are some fun indoor activities? or places to visit? we love gymboree, but what else???

mommie needs a new pair of shoes or 2!

okay, "needs" is a strong word. but with two nordstrom gift cards found in my wallet, I hightailed it to the mall during a lunch break. meanwhile, I never take a lunch break, but had the fever. you know that fever! the fever to shop and I so wanted (better word) cute flats.

side note -- gift cards were from last year's birthday (april), so I really have been trying to curb my shopping tendencies and save $$.

so there I was in nordstroms looking through the selection of flats and really wanted a nice pair. a pair I could wear all the time, so I planned on spending some money, while not that much if you think about it since I had the gift cards.

I definitely wanted flats, because I just can not do the heels like I use to. don't get my wrong, I will still rock my 4 inches when I have too, but so rather wear flats to gymboree, coffee with the girls, or just out & about everyday. so just like mama taught me, if you buy well made shoes you'll have them forever.

okay, let's recap -- I am looking for flats, have some gift cards (so I can spend some money), well made, I am short so they need to be FAB (okay just threw that in...)

so I ran over to the tory burch table, of course... I sent a text to two of my girlfriends first, who rock her flats to confirm the purchase was a good one (perhaps guilt was setting in). confirmation given! I have wanted a pair since pregnant and in serious need of comfy flats. passed then, but I just could not this time.

here they are -- navy! love them!


because I clearly could not bring home another pair of black flats or could I? and actually believe I stated that to the salesman, who clearly wasn't listening.

whatevs!

and while I was trying those on the salesman brought this pair out.


okay, yes I fully admit I have a problem and I am getting our budget in gear, hence the reason I could not delay this post any longer. HOWEVER -- these were on SALE. BIG TIME. originally $350 or something like that, sale price $125! as the salesman gleefully stated, "you are basically stealing these". I smiled and said "I'll take them too!" gift cards covered more than half, I picked up a salad and headed back to the office.

so spill, if for no other reason but to make me feel better, what's your luxury purchase of late...

have you heard???

have you heard the buzz around the blogging world. well, if not, let me fill you in...

there is a new book review blog, officially, launching tomorrow! authors, book retailers, publishers have and more will be rushing to sign up for these ladies to review their books. the blog was founded by terra, one of my favorite bloggers and definitely would be close girlfriends if we even remotely lived near each other. I totally could see myself, hanging in her kitchen daily, convincing her to make me pie and chatting it up for hours! she is FAB! and I can not wait to see what's in store for tomorrow...

be sure to check out tales from the nightstand monday, february 23rd for the official launch and free book sweepstakes! these chicks are writing reviews and giving away free stuff! enjoy!

here's to all the italian mommies...

I'm not in the italian mommie group as my dad was an irish american and my mom even has a little of the emerald isle running through her veins. but I would classify my mom in the italian mommie group. and I must say italian mommies are fabulous.

take today - I am, as I continue to whine about it, sick. definitely sick! my mommie comes over this morning, in hand, a bag of groceries, pink roses, and new trucks for double l. she runs back to her car, my bub following her to see if he can help and out she pulls from the hatch -- a huge pot of homemade meatballs, pork and gravy. on the stove it goes to finish cooking and then simmers for long enough to make my house smell delicious and bring me back to sunday afternoons when I was young.

the staples, of course, come out of the grocery bag -- milk, bananas, and orange juice. but then there's a white paper bag. what is in there? yep, she is definitely fabulous! italian cookies from south philadelphia along with a story of how she, her sister, and my mom-mom were at UPenn visiting aunt joannie and wanted to go to a byob, but mom-mom wanted veal and the first place did not have it and then they went to this other place and it was "SOOO CLEAN" (because if you are or have an italian mommie cleanliness is honestly next to Godliness) and the food was delicious, but they had a bakery right next store, it was fabulous and she had to get me treats anyway. and of course we should all really move back to the city... ah, the stories that company every purchase, action, smile. classic and definitely made me feel better. as I watched my mother play with my son, cuddle with him, clean my kitchen, cook for me, I felt so loved and special. I was grateful that we moved back home and felt so taken care of...

you always need your mommie! and my heart goes out to all who have lost their mommies, because today as normal as it was in my family was special and I pray that I will be hearing those stories for many, many years to come. of course, while sneaking dips of bread in her gravy :)

I'm sorry doc, what did you say I have...

that would be the beginning of pneumonia!

oh my goodness, I am idiot. I should have gotten to the doctor tuesday and classic courtney waited until she was gasping for air this morning and wheezing. meanwhile, I can not believe my little guy feels like that on a regular basis. the wheezing and gasping was a bit scary. but double l has gotten 10 times better using his new meds, I must say.

so, yes by morning, I was much worse, still got up, got a shower, wheezing, coughing, blowing my nose, driving double l to school, going in the office. but as I sat down at my desk, I thought I should really call my doc. went to a few meetings, heard someone was diagnosed with pneumonia, thought well that would stink, then drove to the doc. so after listening to my lungs and failing the breathing test four times (yes, I kept trying). she sweetly said, "yes it sounds like you have something starting in your lower right lung and you are nowhere near where you needed to be on the breathing meter. so, I believe this is the beginning of pneumonia. oh and I do think you'll probably feel worse tomorrow, but hopefully by saturday you'll start to feel better."

so here I sit on the couch with tissues up my nose, double l next to me watching barney, waiting for daddy to get home, so I can jump on a conference call and hope by 7 my prescriptions will be filled. don't get me started on our local cvs.

anyway, thank you to all who left such sweet comments on my last post!

I am praying that tomorrow is not worse and that nothing is passed along to double l and my bub. good news -- double l is on antibiotics for the ear infection, so as zerlong as I stop kissing him and always keep our hands washed, he should be fine!

I am not a good at "resting", so I am sure I will be very entertained while visiting everyone's blog (while I am relaxing in bed)!

calling out sick...

oh, I so wish I could. but I can't. thursdays are office days and heck I am only in the office two days a week. so, I am picking up my snotty tissues, throwing those away and packing some clean ones in my laptop bag. because the everyone knows that office tissues are so thin so your fingers are wet and they feel like sandpaper. plus, I have meetings and why would I ever want to miss a conference call every ther hour or a 6-7 meeting with an executive. ah, yes it starts at 6:00 and by then my nose will be bright red and probably peeling. I am sure to be coughing up a lung during the entire meeting and most definitely during my ramblings on sales, spend, blah, blah, hack, blah, sneeze, blah, oops excuse my mucus ball on your desk, mr. executive.

I so wanted to post all about my fabulous shoe purchase and will before I get to entrench with budgeting. after which the purchase to be posted would never be approved! but they are fabulous -- both pairs!

okay, back to my serious head cold, followed by stomach issues, most definitely caused by the amount of mucus I am ingesting. I can not breathe through my nose. this all started monday evening as I attempted to fall back to sleep after waking up at 3AM. never did. with no sleep, high on caffeine I proceeded to work from home, sans child care (which MIL usually comes over on tuesdays to watch double l, but was in ky) and then took double l to the doctor's because his cough and congestion got worse. double l, poor baby, has a "horrible" (quote from doc) left ear infection. we both (doctor and I) are amazed that the three eye infection this boy has had he never shows signs. he actually has been sleeping through the night, no crying out at all, all week. of course, this would happen while mommie can not get more than four hours of sleep. UGH! anyway, we got my little man some meds and we are keeping him on his nebulizer treatments. I have to say he is pure sunshine on a cloudy day. he makes me feel so much better just hanging out with him. he has been so sweet and just wants to cuddle which I just eat up. double l seems like he is getting so much better while I have progressively gotten worse. right now, possibly being the worst...

so, my vows to cook have fell short. I believe I have officially today called out sick from being a domestic diva.

this probably does not count in achieving my domestic goals, thoughts?


and my cookbooks have made wonderful resting places for snotty tissues. btw, lansinoh is not just wonderful for raw nipples, but also for raw noses!


so, I am hoping I can stay up for lost, but should probably just try and pass out.

wordless wednesday

best friends...

for more wordless wednesday, check out 5 minutes for mom!

hi my name is courtney and I am not a domestic diva

but I so want to be...

here it is. this is what I have learned over the past week (secretly have known for a long time). I am a poor excuse for a domestic diva.

1. I rarely cook. but I vowed yesterday to start cooking again. and I did cook some yummy chicken and stuffing in the crock pot. needed to do the crock pot thing, because mommie had to run last night!

2. I can not keep up with this house. whined about that as well yesterday. but I did finally whip down the dusty shelves in the kitchen. not to all -- as much as you covet those beautiful kitchen shelves in the magazines or on the martha specials, DO NOT DO IT! unless you like to clean on a daily basis....

3. I want to learn how to knit and I so want to be crafty, if not have activities to do with my son or to give handmade gifts. have I really taken the time to learn or spend quality time at joann fabrics? answer: nope. however, I thought no one in the family knitted and much to my surprise, my mom-mom and oh wait, my 12 year old brother knit. WHAT? my little bro knits and was listening to mom-mom give him pointers and then I grab his needles and proceed to mess up his scarf. UGH!!! I need one day with mom-mom than everyone will be getting scarves for Christmas!

4. I want to plan a budget. I proudly boast that I frugally got us out of cc debt, but really have done little more. as the domestic diva, I would be so penny-wise and still have fabulous things. I would double l's college saved for and our food bill down to a science. instead, I am lucky if I write a list before going to the store and double l, well, he is going to really need that sponsorship!

for more what I learned this week, please visit musings of a housewife...

valentine's recap with my vow to be more domestic

saturday morning, double l woke up with a wet cough. no fever, but of course so much congestion. we were about to reduce his treatments, but now we will charge for speed ahead and fit through this cold. I will be calling the doc to see if she wants to see him today.

despite the cough, his mommie and daddy still pulled him away from his crib while taking an afternoon nap to go to his cousin's birthday party. it was at mimi and pop's so all was fine once we got there. double l enjoyed his first piece of ice-cream cake. and I must say, enjoyed every moment.

the romance was just not overflowing at the bday party, so we actually did not celebrate until last night. after double l went to bed, my bub made me a delicious filet, with grilled veggies. it was yummy. he poured me some of my favorite wine and we chatted for what seemed to be forever. it was so nice. but I think I was in bed by 10:00!

now for my vow -- this week I am vowing to be more domestic.

1. I need to make dinner for the family

2. I need to plan a week's menu in advance (but will start later as it's already monday)

3. I need to catch up laundry

4. I need to clean this house -- top to bottom. since we stopped the cleaning service, I have seriously been struggling to keep up.

meanwhile, I really need to get caught up on work too. I know I will do that (which is totally sad to think my family would be neglected). but I am way over do to channel my domestic diva...

any tips on juggling it all :)

*****************************************************************

recap photos

double l diving into the ice-cream cake...


our big guy nebulizing himself!


helping mommie turn off the nebulizer


we actually did take a walk yesterday, but captain heartbreaker (pjs) couldn't wait and decided to chill out in his stroller for awhile... meanwhile, I love the one slipper on and one slipper who knows where!


my valentine's in their new red tees (mommie gave them) watching nemo


ah, I just love this face!!!! boogies and all :)

the woman at the well

today, our message came from the gospel according to john. but before it was read the following video was played. as a Christian woman, it spoke volumes to me. I, absolutely, loved the modern twist based on a meeting that happened over two thousand years ago. a meeting with my Saviour!

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did...



for reference - john 4:1-42

happy valentine's day

give and receive love today and always...

first post friday

during my normal visit to tiara & tantrums, who I think is fabulous, I found this fun carnival thingy she was playing about her first post. so, of course, I followed her lead and visited dirty socks & pizza to find out more...

and I must say this has definitely sent me down memory lane. my very first post is ridiculously lame. but my second and third are absolutely making me cry. below is a re-post of the third, which is after double l's first birthday party. the party was a blast and I, of course, can not believe how much he has grown since then. as for my little blog, I had no idea how much fun it would be and how many different bloggers I would "meet". it has already been such a positive experience. thank you!!!

meanwhile, no one visited my little blog except marley (love you) and maybe my mom :)

p.s. you will see this is right after I found out about joe being sick...

**************************************************************
re-post

double l's party was a hit. Everyone was so generous and all good sports as it was 100 degrees. We had the "water park" set up and I think the babes had a good time. Our little man had a ball, even though he had a bit of a breakdown after we finished singing happy birthday. Enjoy the pics...

p.s. all who know him, please keep praying for j.mak...

"for with God nothing will be impossible" Luke 1:37

this and that...

first of all, I need to thank the blissfully domestic and one2one network folks. if you remember, I canceled my trip to blissdom and was trying to recoup my investment. like the hotel preston, the blissfully and one2one teams were so very supportive. I received an email this morning that I was credited 100% for my registration.

thank you and I am so looking forward to attending the conference next year. and as always, I will be entertained by all the fabulous posts over at blissfully domestic!

dear us airways, you may want to take note of the understanding taken by the companies mentioned above!

today was an office day and honestly I am mentally drained. we are so busy and I still have to write out valentine's for double l's class party tomorrow. UGH! and I need to cut up fruit as well for these little cuties! I, so, wanted to make the valentine's with double l, but honestly we only got around to making one card for daddy. so, dollar store it was and pre-made valentine's will need to be it!

and for me, I haven't picked up anything for my bub. I have a card, but I'd love to pick him up something little and sweet. any suggestions?

I am watching the news and they are discussing the suleman octuplets. she has six children already and now eight more. why would the doctor, dr. kamrava, agree to put six fertilized eggs in her womb? I know this is an old story, but I am totally slow and finally had time to actually listen to the story and do some research on my own. I have to be honest, I don't get it and find myself getting sad about it. I don't get why a doctor would agree to this, why a mother would choose to do this, and why her parent, which whom she lives with would go along with this...

poor little ones, so tiny, and so many... I pray for their health and stability!

funny or just not funny

over 8 million views of this YouTube video. its a little boy who had a tooth pulled and still is high on that silly "laughing gas".

why has this video gotten so much hype? why is it a viral sensation? over 8 million viewers just on YouTube!

thought? funny or just not funny...

our little man...

we love you, double l. we will hold your hand always...


photo taken by jennifer czap


for more wordless wednesday, checkout 5 minutes for mom!

do I look fat in this...

I have never been totally content with my body. However, I never thought I was overweight, just not well proportioned. I have short legs, a long torso, no boobs, linebacker-like broad shoulders, and so on. Basically, I have my father's body and mom-mom's height. I was in fairly good shape as a teenager. I ran frequently and was active in sports. In my early twenties, I stopped running and worked out infrequently, but I did not gain weight. I ate what ever I wanted and never worried about how it was affecting my shape (let alone my health). Then I turned twenty-six and the scale started to creep up, so I started to move. I worked out and maintained a healthy weight. Again, I was not totally content with my figure, but there is really nothing one can do about short legs!

Oh boy, I was in for a reality check when I became pregnant with my son. I was sick throughout my first trimester. The nausea was awful, but pasta and bread made me feel so much better.

continue reading over at philadelphia moms blog

I came, I ran, I conquered

conquered a 10:30 mile, ya all... this is big news for mommie, because she was holding steady at an 11 minute mile. yep, I rocked out to wilco, old '97s and a little of the beatles and pushed out a, let me type it again, 10:30 mile.

and if your wondering, it was just one. just one mile ran. no more... but boy did it feel good. I walked another one to bring my heart rate down and prayed that my heart would not beat out my chest cavity. because man was it beating hard and fast. then after the walking, I high tailed it out of there. I forgot my magazine's, so my normal mile run followed by 45 minutes on the ellipital was not happening. I can not do the ellipital without a book or magazine!

to clear this entire foolishness up, I use to run. in the early '90s. but as of 1994, there was no more running for mommie, who at the time was not mommie and simply known as courtney, court, skirtney, mac, etc... fast forward to november 2008, I get the bright idea that I will run a 5K in 2009. goal set. even blogged about it (I am such a big mouth). but as I jumped on that treadmill, I quickly realized mommie was way out of shape.

btw, you'll hear all about my body image issue tomorrow on philadelphia moms blog, but for now lets keep the focus on the positive -- my sweet 10:30 mile

holla!

ben made me cry...

okay, long over due update on my date night post!

what did I wear? high black boots! black tights! this dress! MAKE-UP! my hair down!

we went to an early movie and than dinner.

um, since when is a 4:20 showing not a matinee? movies are total rip-offs. sorry, but its crazy! over $20 for two tickets!! plus, you are drawn to the popcorn with the butter and the soda. I past on the candy, because I think we ran out of cash. good thing we had our credit card for dinner or we would have been washing dishes. meanwhile, has that ever really happened? you can't pay your bill, so you have to wash the dishes??

anyway, I digress...

but the movie was good. we went to see the curious case of benjamin button. ben made me cry. this definitely tugs at the heart strings. basically, benjamin is born in an old man's body and as he ages through time his body gets younger, but everyone in his life is aging and their bodies are aging. of course, he falls in love. his love is the wonderful, fabulous cate blanchett, who I love! she is my favorite. brad, on the other hand, is not a favorite, but was fabulous in this movie. I do not want to ruin it for anyone, so my details will be brief. but the special effects of brad getting younger and cate aging was awesome. honestly, at one point, it was totally brad back in thelma and louise! honestly, when brad became a young boy, than toddler, than infant, really got the tears flowing...

I did not realize, but its up for 13 academy awards. so go see it, because its one of those movies worth seeing on the big screen. "he's just not that into you" - I will be saving for blockbuster!

typical sunday morning, with only a few curve balls

I didn't think sunday, february 8th would have been typical. I thought I would be waiting in a nashville airport for my flight home. but I woke up this morning, a little groggy as I did not go to bed until late (after 11:00) but feeling totally normal. contently normal! it is definitely what my emotional state needed -- a typical sunday morning.

double l stirred at 4, and then again at 6 and finally woke up happy and yelling "MA", "MA MA" among other words not yet in the dictionary. and "MA MA" made "daddy" go get him :)

everything went as normal...

nebulizer - check

claire goes out to potty - check

mommie swiffers - check

oatmeal made - check

coffee brewing - not so much. UGH! total curve ball, so excuse this posts as its sans caffeine (which it took me a few minutes to think about how to spell caffeine)

showers - check

mommie thinking she has enough time to type this post before leaving for church, but she so will be running down the stairs in 10 minutes saying "why am I always late" - almost check!

I am really happy that this morning was typical. I needed typical! but I really need coffee, we are going to need to stop. my brain is not functioning very well!

happy typical sunday everyone!

recouping my investment... I hope!!

well, today would be day 2 at blissdom. I signed up and booked my travel arrangements for blissdom back in late december. with joe's memorial services late in the week, I canceled my trip. I have been trying to recoup my investment and really do not want to lose any money (OBVIOUSLY, right!). the hotel preston was so very nice and took wonderful care of me. US Air, well there's another story... since I was not attending an immediate family members memorial services, I am not guaranteed a waiver on the $150 fee. I completely understand the credit for the $180 I spent on the tickets and I am confident I will purchase tickets through US Air this year, but the $150 seems excessive in this situation and I am hoping when I use the credit to purchase a ticket in the future it is waived. we will see...

I am waiting to hear back from the blissdom organizers, but hope they are as understanding as the hotel preston!

I was going to attend the 'apprentice track' sessions. since I am such a rookie blogger, all the topics were very interesting to me. I, definitely, was looking forward to meeting the speakers and all the bloggers.

so to all the attendees and speakers, I hope you are having a blast and hopefully I will join you all next year!

as for today, we are going over my in-laws. double l's great-grandmother is in town from louisville, kentucky. if you haven't heard, kentucky was under a state of emergency due to recent ice and snow storms. poor mamaw would have been sitting in a very cold and dark house this past week. power was not due back until mid-february! that just sounds crazy to me. so, my in-laws got her on a plane and flew her over here to spend some time with us. oh, and of course she flew US Air (ahem...).

saying good-bye

today was joe's funeral. I guess today was the day to say good-bye or to find closure. but as I watched his beautiful wife stand by his grave, alone, visibly weeping, I knew she could not say good-bye or find closure. my heart is breaking for her and his family. it hurts every time I think of it and can not imagine the pain that is running through their hearts.

but Jesus did say "blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted" and that is my prayer for them.

I pulled out some old photos tonight. to go back in time and possibly change something, of course, ran into my mind. but its foolish to even think that way.

so, I will fondly remember my old friend and keep those photos close by.... I will try to find peace with joe's parting from this world as I know he has gone home and will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. he no longer will feel pain from his sickness. but a part of me, a selfish little part of me, so wishes it was not so and he was healthy and alive... so wishes he did not have to leave... so wishes that I would be sitting at a mutual friends house and hear that him and his wife were expecting... so wishes this was a nightmare and I just needed to wake up... so wishes that I could take away all the pain I saw as I looked into everyone's eyes today!

double l's first sponsorship! UPDATED!!!

updated with a shot of double l's daddy around the same age. priceless...

just what mommie needed...

its hard to be sad when you have this face around you all day! so, I have decided to wear my double l t-shirt. its another kind of babywearing...

yesterday was really tough for me. a rush of memories came pouring in my head all throughout the day. I needed to be occupied all day or I would tear up every time I sat down. surprisingly, double l was totally clingy which definitely helped me through what could have been an emotional foggy day. double l isn't that big on cuddling or being carried. don't get me wrong he does his share. but yesterday he just wanted to be with mommie. a big change from where we were just a few short months ago...
for example, he did not want to sit in his high chair for dinner. he wanted me to hold him. so I happily did. he enjoyed finger foods as mommie carted him around the kitchen and sat him on my lap as he finished his meal. ah, it was just want I needed and a part of me thinks he knew it!!!

meanwhile, I need a toddler sling because his baby ones just do not hold my big superman!

don't weep..

Don't weep at my grave,
For I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
to dance in the air.
I'll be singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
Playing tag with the wind,
Please don't weep for me.
How can i live
What am i to do
Now apart of my heart,
Is buried with you?

~ Author Unknown ~

"...I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Psalm 23:6